Introvert tendencies strikes again

Introversion as defined by wikapedia “They are not necessarily asocial, but they tend to have smaller circles of friends, and are less likely to thrive on making new social contacts… Introversion is not the same as shyness. Introverts choose solitary over social activities by preference, whereas shy people avoid social encounters out of fear. An introvert is energized when alone. Introverts tend to “fade” when with people and can easily become overstimulated with too many others around. Introverts tend to think before speaking.”

Well maybe by that definition I should have said “Shyness tendencies strikes again”. But really a combination of both. So what am I going on about…

Tonight I was going to go to Weedcatchers (for those that don’t know this is, a session run by arawa club every week, for intermediate to advanced paddlers.) I was kinda of looking forward to it earlier in the day, as I wanted to see how I was doing in comparison to the other paddlers in the club, and something different to do. But still felt slightly aprenhensive about meeting new people in a strange situation. Though it wouldn’t be like I don’t know anybody, I have over the past year made a few freinds / associations with the people at the club.

Come 3.30, I started thinking, I’ve only got couple of hours to go before the start. And I started to get all apprehensive and stressed out about the thought of the situation. This is a feeling I get a lot, and over the last couple of years I have manged to control it and overcome the feeling. There’s nothing scarier to me than these situations, but I normally brave it and just go for it.

But work has been a bit stressful at the moment, and I think this contributed to my state of mind. So while I was sitting there getting more and more strung up, a thought crossed my mind “You don’t actually have to go” . As  soon as this thought occurred, I managed to relax and stress left me, and of course I knew that meant I will never make it to the session. This part of my personality interatates the hell out of me. Why even after all my work of overcoming this problem ,do I still not feel comfortable in a new social situation?

Why, do i feel scared about a situation, that I know I will comfortable in once I get over the initial contact. All paddlers I have ever come across are very friendly people (despite what they come across like on sportzhub), and even if they weren’t friendly, I wouldn’t honestly give a toss (since I am a introvert, I don’t need other peoples approval). And as I am writing this, I am almost crying from the frustration of this.

Well next week, I will try again, and I am sure that I will not allow my feelings to overtake my ambitions again.

The Rogaine Update

On a brighter note, me and Nades meet for lunch to go through what we needed for the Rogaine on Saturday, have most of the stuff I need, well I have all, if I can find it, but think I am going to have to shopping tomorrow for some gloves and a whistle

Training Update

This morning had a 40min run. the purpose of this run was to introduce some pace. Hopefully, I will one day be able to run faster.

Warm up 10min

Run hard 2 lamposts, easy speed 2 lamposts – 10min

run easy- 5min

easy – sprint over 4 lamposts-10min

Warm down 5 min

Forgot HR monitor, but felt really good for the entire session.