I had been awesome

But then a quake happened, this wasn’t just a minor emotional upset, where one has to control your desire for food, no this was much larger. You went from: I don’t actually give a F*@k, to: why the heck not. Your will power dribbled into powder and excess seemed almost to be the key.
There are other postives, possessions and material things just don’t seem as important anymore. But getting a handle on my obsessions was hard. A month or so a go I quite the V. I had sky rocketed out of control, after the quake I had started back on the habit to 1 a morning, then it became 2 or 3 a day. Way out of control, but it didn’t help my food obession.
Then last weekend, I had to admit defeat, my once loose size 10 jeans no longer fitted. I had to move into the “fat” jeans. I want to go faster this year at SI Half Ironaman, but how am I going to do that 5KG heavier? It was the point that my brain needed to just say no, so suddenly the old rythmn or food and faint hunger are back.
I am really concerned that I can’t loose 5Kg in 6 weeks, actually I know I can’t, so I might have to reaccess the goals. But all I can do is try and hope this determination holds

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5 Responses to I had been awesome

  1. you’re not the only one! you should be able to get 5kgs off in 6 weeks, remember have one treat a week to help keep you on the straight and narrow for the rest of ther week :-)

  2. join me in the moving the goal posts club!, I’ll blog about my altered goals soon :)
    don’t stress about Ashvegas, I’m not, aim for faster at each half, much more achievable

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