Life after mid-week break down

Well, I am glad I got that out of my system. I feel a whole lot better now, and much more in control of my life. The trouble when you concentrate so much on your food intake, you become so much hungrier. But having said it hasn’t been hard to take the control back.

Hopefully, that will be my last entry for my food addiction for a while. This is not the what I want to use this blog for, hopefully in 6 months I will be able to say I have got the goal weight and no more comments needed.

Well today was rest day, but quite frankly I could have used a decent run today. Last day of the month is always mad a work. Jobs need to be completed, so we can bill the clients for the month, but each month just seems to be getting worse. The day was maniac…

I managed to get out at lunch to go register for the half. Nothing very exciting to report, there was a bit of shopping to be done. New pair of shorts and a beanie to keep my ears warm on the icy morning. The bad news is that the weather forecast for Sunday morning isn’t looking to hot. A nice southerly coming in, so cold wet rain to be excepted, maybe even a nice cold wind to help me along the way.

My approach to this half marathon has been remarkably restrained, not getting all to excited about it. I am feeling stronger when running, just don’t think it has been faster. I think running 2 hrs easy peasy but all that tarmac, my leg muscles might start to protest. They will probably protest the same time they did last year, just when I hit the park.. and that wading through mud thoughts will get into my head.


Am I being self destructive?

Before c2c I started seeing the nutritionist about 8 weeks out, was a little late, but everything went to plan. Lost weight, got prepared. But since then, things haven’t been going to well. The weight is going back on… and I can’t seem to control it. Catherine said, “do you want food to control you, or you to control food?”… uh duh well thats a obvious answer isn’t.

But she’s right, we had a really long talk today, trying to dig deep into my psyche to find out why I have subverted to by old ways with food. But then I haven’t gone back to the old ways. I eat the prescribed breakfast, lunch (normally great), dinner (portion size is normally too big). Its healthily it combines a good mix of all the food groups. But i have got into the habit of eating in between times, and not what is required. I also seem to have the need to purchase, I not only need to go down to the shop because I am craving the food, I am also going there because I want to purchase something! Insane eh! completly and utterly meantal if you ask me.

Catherine asked me two other questions.

1. What could I imagine to be the worse thing that I could imagine if I keep down this path. I couldn’t answer this, couldn’t think of anything so terrible about it. The only thing I could think of was that I would go back to my old self, pre training. But I said, that wouldn’t happen because I train so much. But since I have been thinking. What if something was to happen to me, even a injury that put me out of action for a couple of months… how hard would it been then to get back to my old self, well with my current habits, not hard and maybe I wouldn’t be able to pull myself out of it again???  This would be my nightmare. I’VE GOT TO GET BACK IN CONTROL! I need to control my cravings… no matter how much exercise I do, there’s no justification for eating that whole muffin.

2. Am I self consciously using my weight as a excuse for not been able to run as fast as I have aimed to? Of course not I say. I train my ass of all the time to achieve something great with in myself, to get to my goals. But if I really wanted this goal, and I know that the easiest way to achieve it is loose the weight why would it be easy to achieve like pre c2c. But why would I self consciously want to take this destructive path???

So we have put a few plans in place. At afternoon tea time, rather than go straight to the diary, go for a walk around the block, if I still need to purchase something, then go to the coffee shop down stairs and get a trim hot choclate. So that’s afternoon tea taken care of. The other situations that arise, I think I should be able to deal with.

The other thing that I want to establish is being able to leave left overs. Part of my problem is I don’t like waste (especially if that waste is a yummy chocolate muffinn ). So if I do end up buying a muffin, leave some left over, and throw it out. I don’t need to eat everything on my plate if I don’t need it.

Well I let it out. I just hope that I can get this back under control. I know it a long boring angonising process, been there before, but never achieved what I ultimately decided. It’s needs to become a ingrained level of control that I will not waver from, no matter what life throws at me; a painful period; a dead cat; relationship difficulties. When ever something rocks my boat, I go of track, and it takes me ages to get back on it, and I don’t think I have get directly back on the track, just a track which delves of a little bit, and each time I get further and further form my original path. Yet somehow no matter what, my training will remain the one true focus and will never seem to fall of the track.

I’m addicted to Entering

What I have discovered about myself this morning is that I am addicted (hmmm, not sure it is the correct word to use, but it will have to do as I can’t think of a alternative) to entering events. I love everything about the process. Love filling in the form, handing over the credit card details, receiving the email that says you are confirmed to be entered. Though on deeper thought, its probably not the process as much, but the excitement of knowing that I have entered, there’s no turning back now, the goal is locked and loaded..

So last night we all booked flights (aren’t Credit cards grand)  to go to Sydney, yah! Sydney here we come. But this morning, my fingers are twitching to enter the marathon. But here’s my dilemma, I’m not sure if I want to do the half or the full marathon. Would love to do a full, but not sure if timing wise I’ll have enough time to recover for the kepler (assuming that I mange to get a entry into that, that could be  a defining moment for this decision. If I miss out on entry for that I will definetly aim for the full. The Kepler is in my Calender to remind me to be sitting at the computer for 6.30am 5th of July, lets my Internet connection doesn’t die at that precise moment in time.)  Well I have up until the 31st of August (when early bird entries close) to make this decision, but I WANT TO ENTER NOW..

So what else am I doing that I can enter… Brass monkey, entry forms not out… Tour de tasman, web site not even up, still not 100% if I will do it…. Spring Challenge, entered already … ummm think that’s about it … damn, maybe I should just use that credit card and do some Internet shopping.. hmm not the same I think.

oh no, why did I have to read that!

Interestingly, fit female athletes have the capacity to do nearly 100% of their training at an intensity that shuts down most of their fat burning…. By “fit” I mean a woman that has been training for a few years, is active and can get through a triathlon of any distance.

So basically what he is saying the “fit” female athletes will efficiently burn calories when at “normal” intensity during a work out. To burn fat we have to train at a lot lower frequency… oh how boring! I knew this to a certain extent but he’s got a graph and everything.

I know I have said that I will not talk about my weight on this blog. But that’s just too much. Oh dear…

… lets move on…

Today, I decided to copy Nades, and bus into work and run home. I haven’t bused (is that a word?) in years. Found my Metro card at the bottom of the draw, and hoping that it still works made my way to bus stop, luckily, I live close to a intersection of 2 major roads, so as I saw my normal bus disapear off down the road, there is a alternative bus I can take that comes along a couple of minutes later. It seems strange but it was a little exciting taking the bus for a change, but really I know that the appeal will wan.

.. jeez, i am talking about catching the bus… that’s really exciting, people will be falling asleep at their desks…

Well the run home was just a exciting, its only 4K home, so I took a slightly longer route home, today was only a 5K easy run anyway so not much too it, with a few core exercises when I got home. What is it about Hagley park? I have to cross it to get home, but it always does my head in, 1K max I spent in it, but was like wading through mud (A runner did pass me, going almost twice as fast as me… felt like i was standing still). So I can see that last 3K for the half this weekend being a easy as quantum physics…

So heres what I am thinking… over winter I need to build up a lot more base for running, so I am thinking if I run to and from work a couple of times a week, maybe build up to 10K, that will allow me to fit things in especailly during mid winter when cold and dark. But the only problem with this plan, is getting my stuff to and from work, I can only carry so much.. hmmm… must think more on this plan…

Just discovered a new fun activity

Well this morning, me and Nades trundled up to do orienteering, we had absolutely no idea what to expect or how long it would take(did we need to carry water and food??). Anyway, a helpful lady at registration gave us some pointers, and we choose to do the Orange course, a medium level course. Got given a map and a list of the markers. We had about 30min before we started, so we went back and sat in the car, and studied the map. Well there was no marks on the map, as I would have expected, so we were a little dumb founded, how the hell were we supposed to find the objects just by going by there description… well we pondered.

We arrived at the start with 1min to go, and we were ready to start, still with no idea how we were to find the each station, we made for the start triangle, and hoped it would become clear as we went, then we saw a tent where people were marking the stations on their maps… duh! OK so we wasted 5min putting the stations on the map, and were off. Found 1 and 2 Ok, but 3, took us a while. Then there was a whole heap of bush bashing as we climbed a rather steep hill. and had serious trouble finding 4, but then so did heaps of others, we will blame the map, because it was less than accurate. And so progressed almost 2 hrs of similar experiences, of achievements, wrong turns, steep ascents / descents, muddy bogs and absolute fun. It was brilliant and defiantly something I’d want to give another go. We certaintantly couldn’t do any worse than we did.

It was fun doing it with some one else as well, not sure if I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself so much if I had done it by myself. So me and Nades have decided we will go do the next one when ever it is. Its good for the diversty from the standard training.

Who would ever have thought that a 3K course would have taken us so long.

The price of petrol has changed the way I train

Had another lesson with Rosie on Thursday, up until now we have been working on ‘pretty’, setting the stroke up for the catch, that was the easy bit. Now all I have to be able to do is dislocate my shoulder, manipulate it independent of my arm, then get all the other muscles firing in sequence to pull the blade through the water. Sounds easy doesn’t it… well working on it… I am getting a little wrorried about the Brass Monkey, still haven’t made it down the pylons(not that I have really been trying) and I am not sure how confident I will feel on that part of the river in the sprinter. It’s a unknown factor at this point.

Friday I was too lazy for anything. I used to have Friday as my rest day, but set up my rest day to Monday, as this gives me a break after the weekend. But I think I am going to have to change back to Friday. I just have no motivation for getting out of bed early on Fridays. Didn’t bike to work either, but as I was sitting in the traffic, I looked over to the Petrol station and saw that petrol had reached $2. I thought I am a idiot, rain or not, I am not going to melt if I bike only 4 piddling K’s to work. Problem I do foresee with this is I am trying to paddle at least 3 times during the week, and I don’t really want to bike all the way to Arawa and home. And Tuesday I got straight to running class after work, so that leaves one day where I can bike… Oh dear maybe I just need to get the road bike out, that would make biking a lot quicker and easy than the bohemeath of a mountain bike I use to get to work normally.

Well this morning I went and did the 10K track at Burwood forest. Think I did it in the fastest time ever, 1hr exactly, and I wasn’t pushing it very hard, though at places was pushing it really hard. I think my lactate threshold level has risen. I can run with my HR up around 175 for a lot longer period of time. I must go and get it tested again. But for most of the run tried to keep HR around 165. The track can be quite tough when you are pushing it, with of few hills (though nothing to tough), but heaps of sandy patches that make it quite hard going. I got a good rythmn goign at one point and told myself this is the speed I will need to do for the half marathon.

The Half Marathon… eeek.. only one week to go, and the max distance I have done recently is probably about 14K. Its going to be a very interesting experience. Though I am not thinking I’ll be able to break the 2 hr barrier, so not even going to focus on that.

Anyway, after my run, I decided that I might as well go do a paddle, as it’s the same part of town. It would save me having to drive back saturday or Sunday arvo. As my paddling isn’t very strenous at the moment (just on the muscles that haven’t been used to the new technique), i didn’t think that it would effect my paddling very much to do it tried from the run. For the most part i don’t think it did, though I did get tired more easy. Spent about 20min on the river, trying to get the paddle spearing into the water and the shoulder manipulation going. I think in some ways I was successful, and man did my core feel it. My side abdominals were rather sore by the end of the session.

Well tomorrow, me and Nades are going to give orienteering lark ago. Hope the weather ain’t to cold or wet, but looking forward to it. It’ll be fun to do something different.

The paradox of quotes

Quotes are funny things. I use them for inspiration and a direction in life, though this morning I saw a quote that made me laugh so have to write about it.

Its hard to be angry while watching a penguin

So quotes don’t have to be the most series of intention to be useful or good.

Yet last night I saw a quote through the window to the QEII Gym

Nothing was achieved without enthusiasm

This just made me angry. Lots of things can be achieved without enthusiasm, some things might not be achieved well, but still… And someone thought it was good enough to paint on to a gym wall! Blah, good thing I don’t go to that gym, otherwise I’ll be just plain angry the whole time i was there.

Anyway enough with the quotes, on to last nights game. Well we still lost, but we are getting better, and we were up against a kick ass team. These guys were scary, they’d push you over when you had the ball (though luckily they’d been told I couldn’t role, so they played nice with me). Still it was fun, I feel like th eweak link in the team, can’t catch the ball or throw it well. Sigh…

Good thing I’m there to just enjoy myself