Moaning Mrytle

I can see the ghosts delima, you have been looking forward to the rest of your life. Than some one cuts it short. You are goal less and have nothing to aim for. What do you do? You kind of float around haunting the places you know. You no longer have anything to aim for… life just gone down the tubes for you.

I got over not doing the Routeburn.  Pretty quickly actually, thats life. Not much you can do about it, always next year.

But I got myself in a goalless,  aimless funk. What do I do now? Well we still got the marathon, right? it just seems slightly unreal. I have no belief that I will actually be able to do. Not running is the key, if I can’t run now, how am I going to be able to run 42 odd K in 4 weeks time! You got me, I have no idea…

Where’d that lack of belief in myself come form? Never had that before…

Maybe the trouble is that now almost all off my training has to be undetakening in doors. I have 60min on a elliptical trainer for crying out loud! 2 spin classes in 1 week, and 2 aqua jogging sessions . For a girl who avoids training inside as much as possible, and only takes indoors for the gym and in recent months swimming, this is a bit of a shock.

I am weak… weak, I know. I have no brain staying power. It is probably good for me, but life is a bit of a funk at the moment.


A Week in Wellington.

I would like to point out, that this week was going to be a hill running intensive week. But life changes so plans must change. But what do you do when you are away from home and can’t run?

I’m sure many people have many answers to give, but it a bit stumped me. Its what I do when I travel (Ok I am not a jet set gypsy, but do travel occassionally for work), I run. Its easy to do, just make sure you make some running shoes and gear and you are good to go for the week.

I still packed the running shoes, but with different intentions.

(I wish I’d had a better camera with me than my mobile phone)

Tuesday morning the conference I was going to didn’t start till 10:30, so I decided to take the opportunity to go for a walk in the morning. The hotel I am staying at is on the other side of wellington(well the cbd) that I normally stay. As I discovered on my walk, I am only a couple of blocks from the beehive. So Iwalked in a place that I have never been. It didn’t take me long to discover a trail and get a sweat going climbing a hill. Coming down might have been a bit dodgy on the ankle.

The hotel has a gym, so Wednesday morning I decided to check it out. But its a bit small, and 30min sitting on the bike and I was bored, than did some core exercises, but blah.

This morning used the Hotel pool, probably about 20metres, bored blah. Strange I would have been prefectly fine at home in the Jelly Park pool.

Tommorow, I fly back at about lunch time, I probably should try and do something in the morning, I’ll try another walk.

The Conference

This is going to interest absoulty none of the audience who read this blog, but I have to mention it.

It wasn’t really a conference, more of a intensive course. Silverlight is a new fandangle technology that mircrosoft is trying to introduce to the market (world wide they have about 30% in NZ that more like 20%, its a rival to flash, some of  you will have it as a plugin to your browser, or if you got ie8 you already have it).

 They put together this conference and invited key companies in NZ, that are most likely to adopt the technology. These companies were invited to send a top developer and designer, who would learn and adopt and bring it back to the company and teach others etc etc. So it was a bit scary, these were some of the best in our feild in our country. Well being me, I just walk in there with confidence (Yes sometimes I wonder why I have such confidence in some things and no confidence in others), you see when in work related the social situation doesn’t daunt me.

Long story short, it was 3.5days of brain sapping learning, its been hard, and quite frankly my mond wants to go to bed.

Unfortunatly, my body doesn’t. My body just doesn’t feel tired, it hasn’t been sapped of its energy.

The way forward

Jo has been busy and put together a 3 week programe. Included in that is some aqaujogging, and some eliptical training at the gym. Its starts next week, and I think with the program and goal in there, I will get the motivation back. Plus being back home it will help. Its like I have had a 2 week break… things will get back on track.

So we are taking things 1 week at a time, we’ll see how the things go, what the spealist says. But still aiming at the marathon. It will mean that if things go to plan, I will only have 2 weeks of running before the marathon. That does kind of worry me. We will fall back to the half if not that confident in my running.

Yes I have moved on from Routeburn, I have withdrawn, after a couple of down days I got over it pretty quickly… theres always next year.

A synopsis of a ankle injury

I need to know everything about something, especially when whatever it is, is going to consume my life for a period of time. So I like to educate myself, even if that means browsing the web to see what information is out there. Though the physio has been pretty good at explaining everything.

So heres my essay on what is happening with my ankle.

Heres what I did

What happened

What happened

Except I only tore the front one (I think). The other two are still in tact.

The ankle

The ankle

Above is the picture of the ligaments of the ankle, the ligament that has bee torn is the anterior talofibular ligament. The means that ankle lacks stability and there is nothing preventing the bones in the ankle sliding forward. Though by running on it there is no way for me to further injure the ligament (it gone, useless), it means that there will be a increased rubbing on cartilage between the bones, and this could in the future mean that chunks of cartilage will be dislodge and be really really painful.

The ankle – a magnificent engineering system of nature

The ankle is a awesome structure, while walking it has to bear 1.5x’s your weight and while running up to 8x’s. It is actually 2 joints: the subtalar joint, and the true ankle joint. The true ankle joint is the part I damaged. The Subtalar joint allows the foot to be moved from side to side.

Another ankle diagram

Another ankle diagram

The major ligaments of the ankle are: the anterior tibiofibular ligament (2), which connects the tibia to the fibula; the lateral collateral ligaments (3), which attach the fibula to the calcaneus and gives the ankle lateral stability; and, on the medial side of the ankle, the deltoid ligaments (4), which connect the tibia to the talus and calcaneus and provide medial stability.

Treatment for this injury

Just in case you havent go it yet

Just in case you haven't go it yet

Well I am not going to take the internet as a treatment plan.

The physio has given me exercises to build up the muscles around the anle. One of which include standing on 1 foot with eyes closed. I used to be ok at this. But now on this injured ankle, I can hold it for all of 2 secs. Amazing the difference this has made, I honestly have not been able to notice much difference in my ankle till I tried that one.

Will not know exactly what the treatment will be till see the speclialist. But one article I read suggested that surgery is not generally recommended.

Maximum benefit from conservative therapy is reached after approximately 10 weeks of active rehabilitation. At this time, 20% of athletes continue to have symptoms secondary to either a functional or mechanical instability. If the patient has reached his or her maximal benefit from functional rehabilitation and has a persistent deficit, then surgical reconstruction should be considered.

But then they talk about seroius pain and not being able to walk on the foot, none of which I have suffered.


I am never going to take the ankle for granted again. It is a very cool part of the body and allows us to do so much.


Rugby Ball anyone?

The new kitty toy

I came home this evening to find something that is not quite like the others. Amongst the kitty’s toy is a red rugby ball. Where’d that come from, kitty isn’t home yet to answer that question.
Now just got to work out which neighbour it belongs to.

When the mighty falls

Let me get this right. The official diagnosis is:

Full thickness tear anterior talofibular ligament and Mild tenosynovitis common peroneal tendon sheath.

Or is laymens, one of the ligaments used to stablise the ankle is completely torn and as such completely ineffective.

So the physio referred me to a specialist ankle surgeon. One option will be to operate and stitch the ligament back up. That will obviously mean a long recovery period, and will just have to wait to I see the specialist to see what that recommendation is. That appointment isn’t until the 1st May, but not quite the 6 weeks wait that the physio thought was likely (or a year for the big hob knob surgeon in chch).

So of course my first question to the physio, can I do Routeburn? lets just say he wasn’t all that confident and he strongly suggested against it. I almost emailed the organisers right away to pull out, but I have decided to sit on it for a few days and lets see how life progresses.

The physio was a bit more confident about the marathon, so obviously all in life is not lost.

The good news – I am honestly trying to look on the bright side, I get a few moments where the world and life as I know it has collapse in on itself and I am struggling to stay afloat. But that soon passes, nothing is really all that bad, got to roll with the punches. So the goods news:

  • It doesn’t hurt. You would think that completely severing a ligament would hurt more, but didn’t feel worse than a ordinary sprain at the time. And now is almost pain free. Quite annoying really, you’d think it could at hurt so you feel some justification for life and plans being turned to hell.
  • I’ll get to go to Kalina’s baby shower (yes Kalina, it is the same day as the Routeburn run, who planned that!)
  • I can still bike, I suppose worse comes to the worse. I can see if a past desire to see how strong a cyclist I can be if I just concentrate on the bike. And I’ll be able to swim again, once the other ligament etc are healed in the ankle.
  • ACC pays for most of the cost (I have to love ACC and Medical insurance, I’d be up shite creek without them)
  • Might have time to concentrate on building our on home.
  • I will become proficient at strapping the ankle.

I have a love hate relationship with running. My main concern is how hard would it be to start back running again. And if I don’t run how much weight would I put on.

You be mighty!

You didn’t really want to go for the run, but you convince yourself into it. You are going to be pushing it against the ever enclosing dark, but you have a torch. But once you start the run you feel great. Maybe it was all those Easter eggs that have given you the extra energy.

You feel mighty, you are striding it out, your feet feel like they are floating above the ground, you feel the awesome power of those legs as you go over that little hill, what hill? it was a mere bump on the ground. You feel mighty!

Your mightiness is unbreakable, you are consumed by your on greatness, you are not concentrating on your feet, but there is hardly a bump in the trail.But what can hurt you? You are mighty.

…. and then you hear that for-boding crack, and feel your body falling to the ground. You feel that old feeling in the ankle. You know about this, you have been here before. You lye back with your legs in the air. You breath through the blood rushing to the head and that sick and faint feeling that greets you. Soon that feeling passes and all is left in a throbbing pain in the ankle.

You gingerly get to your feet, knowing from past experience it’ll be better is you move. It hurts a lot, you limp it out for a few minutes, it slowly starts to feel better, but you know the run is over. Its time to limp back the way you came.

You are small, a mouse against the massive trees that dwarf you. You are lost amongst the dimness of the trees that surround you.

You eventually arrive back at the car. There must be something in this car that can be used as a compression bandage. After all this car only gets emptied occasionally, and has stuff for all occasions. There’s a buff to wrap around the ankle, not quite long enough, and comes unraveled fast. How about using the elastic from the head torch to keep it in place?

Awesome that works, hurts slightly to drive on (its the accelerator ankle), but doesn’t matter.

You are mighty, life little bumps can be overcome 🙂